embrace them
I’m honored that many of my friends come to me when they are having some sort of problem, concern or worry in their life. It seems like it has always been that way. I guess I was blessed with good listening skills and a soft spot for my friends when they are in need. I enjoy trying to help my friends cope with whatever life has picked up and hurled at them at that particular point in time, but it affects me each time I do it. I just hate to see others in pain. I hate to see someone who doesn’t deserve it, treated like a doormat. I hate the longing for something better that seems to always be hiding just below the surface in so many of my friends. I wonder if some people are unable to see these things. Are some people blind to the true manifestation of their friends, and can they only see the false facade that all of us display to the world at some point or another? Now, I’m not saying I’ve been blessed with some sixth-sense or know the secret to some parlor trick. I think that my recognition of the need for some form of counsel often draws people that are close to me in even closer. I’m definitely not the expert when it comes to counseling. I think most people would best be suited talking to Dr. Tara when it comes to that. In fact, I was originally enrolled in the Education Counseling master’s program here until I realized that I just couldn’t handle the burden of carrying everyone else’s pain for the next 30 years of my career. Empathy, sympathy, pity…they all drained me. I knew that I would be unable to just “leave it at the office.” I knew that I would carry everything home with me. I continuously felt exhausted. It seemed to me that in order to help remove someone’s suffering their pain would have to travel through my heart, leaving it scarred and sore. I gave it up. And I’ve regretted it. In the last week, I’ve had a couple friends that have sought my counsel on issues ranging from boyfriends to family to money, and I have come to realize that we are all counselors to our loved ones every day. So in this way, I didn’t give up counseling completely, I don’t think that is possible. It made me feel good to realize this. I hope we can all give good counsel to each other. The entanglement of two lives through shared feelings and experiences doesn’t have to be a burden. It can cause a reinforcement of the bonds we share with our friends and solidify the relationships we share. I know this, and I am happy for it. Recognize your friend's needs, and embrace them.
posted by georgiacoast at 3:40 PM
3 Comments:
What an insightful post. I know well how draining the process of counseling can be. Indeed, it is often the case that the pain we try to help extinguish in others may travel through us in the process of elimination. But ultimately, the pain is well worth the reward. How true you are that we all counsel one another on a daily basis. With this knowledge and awareness, may we all begin to be a little more compassionate, a little more supportive, and a little more loving, each and every day. Our interactions with those around us have profound impacts.
It is the presence of friends like you, Jeff, that make even the most excruciating pain, bearable. The compassion, support, and love you show to those around you is a source of comfort and guidance to so many. Thank you for being who you are, and sharing that with so many others.
And I like the sound of "Dr. Tara".
Only a few more years...:)
4:59 PM
Know that you can "scar" me anytime.
As I know you do and always would help carry my burdens, I would yours. And that does make having to have them easier, indeed.
It's our responsiblity to our friends and loved ones to help them find fulfillment in the good and bad times. And this in turn fulfills us.
xoxo
6:33 PM
I have always thought if given a do-over I would have been a counselor. I am really good at it with my friends. This is a gift and we use no matter what our profession. Your friends see your gift and empathetic soul.
9:35 AM
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